Do I Have To Have This Conversation?

I swear there is something in the air lately! My girls have been coming up to me and either telling me things I don’t want to know about or asking me questions that I don’t want to answer!

Let me start with my 17-year-old:

17-year-old Daughter: “Mom, my friend Tom is going to ask out this girl out who already has a girlfriend.” 
Mom: “You mean she already has a boyfriend, right?”
17-year-old Daughter: “No, you heard right she has a girlfriend!”
Mom: “Is he hoping for a  Ménage a trois?” (I can’t believe I actually asked my own child that question!)
17-year-old Daughter: “No, he just wants to get it on with the both of them at the same time!”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!

Now for my 10 year-old. (Keep in mind that she is in the 5th grade at a Catholic School and that they have had class room discussions about how your body changes at their age.):

Conversation #1:
10-year-old Daughter: “Mom, guess what we kept doing at lunch today?”
Mom: “God only knows! What did you guys do at lunch today?”
10-year-old Daughter: “We kept going up to the boys and asking them, What comes at the end of a statement? Then they would say PERIOD and we would run off laughing!” (She was cracking up when she told me this.)
Mom: “You shouldn’t do that to the poor boys!” (Then I turned away and chuckled.)
10-year-old Daughter: “Then I went up to Jane and I said, “Hi, I’m Mother Nature and I have a new little FRIEND for you!” The boys told Coach on us so we had to sweep the lunch room!”
Conversation #2:
10-year-old Daughter: “Mom do you know what a French Kiss is?”
Mom: “Excuse me?!” (I was in total shock at this one!)
10-year-old Daughter: “Do you know what a French Kiss is?”
Mom: “No, what is it?” (In hopes that she would tell me a really great joke!)
10-year-old Daughter: “No, really, tell me what a French Kiss is!” (She was turning a light pink at this point.)
Mom: “It’s when two French people kiss.” (Now please go away!)
10-year-old Daughter: “MOM! Tell me what it really means! We were talking about this at school and I want to find out if what the other girls said was true.” (She is now a light red at this stage)
Mom: “It’s when two people kiss and their tongues touch.” (Did I just really tell my 10 year-old daughter that!)
10-year-old Daughter: “That’s what they said too. That’s just GROSS!” (Her face is now fire engine red!)
Conversation #3:
10-year-old Daughter: “Can my sister take me to see New Moon next Saturday?”
Mom: “It’s rated PG-13 so I might have to go with you if they require an adult to go with you.”
10-year-old Daughter: “My sister can be TRIED as an adult in court doesn’t that count?!”
That kid cracks me up!!!
 * Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty!
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  1. getbradstanleypublished

     /  November 14, 2009

    Ha. Great post.

    These kinds of things are great. I wish my mom had kept a log of the nonsense conversations my siblings and I had with her.

    Thankfully a co-worker has started telling me about her son (senior in high school) and daughter (freshman in high school) and the fuzzy logic they use all the time. It cracks me up.

  2. I’m glad you were honest with her. Man, it’s tough when they come right out and ask. My boys were “of an age” when Clinton was in office!!! I didn’t like that question at the time.

    • That must have been tough during the Clinton era! Especially with it on the news all the time!
      I figure if I am honest with them now they won’t ask me for money to help pay for their shrinks when they are older!

  3. LOL, they grow up fast don’t they? Honesty is the best policy. Can I just send my kids to talk to you?

  4. I also believe honesty is the best policy.

  5. Oh man, the conversations I have to look forward to! ::: gulp! :::

  6. S. Le

     /  November 16, 2009

    Too funny! When I told Cute Daughter about sex, she cried! Guess she got over it though ’cause she is happily married and about to bless us with our first grandchild!

    Good luck!

  7. Oh man those are FUNNY! Kids say the darndest things! My five year old asked me where babies come from last week. Being the wonderful dad that I am I replied…..”Uhhhhhhhh, well….. Uhhhhhh, ask your mother when she get’s home.”

  8. every once in awhile I stumble on something on here that renews my faith in community … your anecdotes are precious and priceless! Thanks for sharing them with us!

  9. omg, how funny! great questions, and great answers! “When two French people kiss” – bahahahahah! You sly little girl, you!

  10. THIS is exactly why I’m glad my youngest is 21!!! And I mean it!


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