Reinventing Myself…


Sorry I have not been holding up my little corner of the blogging world so well lately. It seems something has to give every now and then and this poor little blog has been the neglected one! For those of you who still check in on me, thanks. I try to check in on everyone even though I may not comment!

So why have I been lacking in my blogging you ask? Well I have been trying to reinvent myself. Maybe this is my mid-life crisis, seeing that I will be 40 in just a few months it sounds like a good enough excuse to me!

I have been doing a ton of thinking and talking to other people and I finally came to the conclusion that I have been trying to change the wrong person in my house. I have been trying to change my husband when in reality he will never change unless he wants to. I am the one who has to change!

I am tired of being the victim. I am tired of having the poor me attitude. I am just plain tired!

I am not, at least not at this point, ready to call it quits on my marriage. We have a lot of good things going for us and I believe the vows I took said, “For better and for worse, in sickness and in health.” Well this is the worse and my husband has a sickness called Alcoholism.

With that being said, I can and have made some changes around my house that have made it easier on myself and my kids. I have told my husband until he decides to get treatment for his illness he basically has no decision or responsibilities in certain things with the kids. For example he has no say in the discipline because he has no control in his judgement. He is not allowed to pick the kids up or to drive them anywhere because we can’t trust him to be sober. After this past weekend if he wants to join us in a family outing he must do so without any alcohol. I have been sleeping in a separate room than my husband for the past 2 months and I have been sleeping great! I even managed to get enough nerve up to open my own bank account! Granted I am not putting much in there but it is mine!  I have basically become a single parent who shares a roof with some other person.

It might sound bad but it actually has been going pretty good! The kids have a better attitude and so do I. We actually have laughter back in our house! I actually have a backbone! I am actually proud of myself as a mother and as a person in general!

So here’s to reinventing myself or just trying to survive my mid-life crisis!

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7 Comments

  1. I miss you like crazy but I’m very happy for you. I feel this is the best road right not to take. If you’re not yet ready to pull the plug on things and this new plan is working, what the heck? It hurts nothing to try.

    Just keep dropping by because I MISS YOU AND LIKE YOU IN MY LIFE.

    Reply
  2. I am really sorry you have to go through this. I went through it with my brother and then my son. My brother I was just able to avoid until he became sober. My son was another story. On a good note he has been sober for 6 months and attending AA or NA meetings daily. For ten years my son tried to quit drugs and he never succeeded. It wasn’t until he realized that he had nothing left including his family that he seriously sought help. I think he would have eventually overdosed if he hadn’t gotten help. AA had saved him. I really hope that your husband sees the light soon. I think you are definitely doing the right think.

    Reply
    • Thanks Joan. I grew up in the same crap as well with both my parents. My dad sobered up but my mom never did. Both my brother and I have had the same problem and have sobered up. The kids and I have been attending AA/Alateen and I can’t tell you how much this has helped us!

      Reply
  3. I love seeing you reinvent yourself. I can feel the stregth in your words and the reclaiming of your life. I am excited for you. I have also seen many miracles with so called hopeless cases in regards to alcohol and drugs, doing a complete 180. I will stay tuned. I know it can be incrediably difficult for all involved.

    Reply
  4. I totally understand where you are coming from. You have to set boundaries and not let an alcoholic cross them. They can be very manipulative. You are doing the right thing. I wish you peace and happiness always and I hope that one day your husband will decide to seek treatment. Even after I left my husband of 20 years he didn’t stop. Eventually the kids left too. My daughter now lives with my sister because she couldn’t put up with his drinking anymore and didn’t want to move out of state with me. It’s her senior year and she wanted to finish high school there. My son signed up for the Marines the day he graduated high school 5 years ago. Even with everyone gone, he still hasn’t sobered up. It’s a cunning disease as you know. I never felt peace in my life the way I do now. I applaud you for stepping up and making a change.

    Reply

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