Several years ago my youngest daughter came to me and asked why she didn’t have an Elf that visits her. Some fool had introduced her to Elf On A Shelf. To this day we are still trying to figure out which parent to hang for this atrocity! That year there was not a single Elf On A Shelf to be found in my area and so Chris the Mouse was born.
As with all kids, my daughter grew up and Chris the Mouse stopped coming down to Texas on his Christmas vacation. That was until last night.
Sadly the past few years have not been good for him. I found out that Santa had to cut his labor force due to Obama Care and well, Chris the Mouse has not handled it well. He has turned to drinking and apparently he doesn’t handle his booze well. I don’t want to be around when he finds out that the severance pay he got is nothing but a freaking candy bar!