Do I Have To Have This Conversation?

I swear there is something in the air lately! My girls have been coming up to me and either telling me things I don’t want to know about or asking me questions that I don’t want to answer!

Let me start with my 17-year-old:

17-year-old Daughter: “Mom, my friend Tom is going to ask out this girl out who already has a girlfriend.” 
Mom: “You mean she already has a boyfriend, right?”
17-year-old Daughter: “No, you heard right she has a girlfriend!”
Mom: “Is he hoping for a  Ménage a trois?” (I can’t believe I actually asked my own child that question!)
17-year-old Daughter: “No, he just wants to get it on with the both of them at the same time!”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!

Now for my 10 year-old. (Keep in mind that she is in the 5th grade at a Catholic School and that they have had class room discussions about how your body changes at their age.):

Conversation #1:
10-year-old Daughter: “Mom, guess what we kept doing at lunch today?”
Mom: “God only knows! What did you guys do at lunch today?”
10-year-old Daughter: “We kept going up to the boys and asking them, What comes at the end of a statement? Then they would say PERIOD and we would run off laughing!” (She was cracking up when she told me this.)
Mom: “You shouldn’t do that to the poor boys!” (Then I turned away and chuckled.)
10-year-old Daughter: “Then I went up to Jane and I said, “Hi, I’m Mother Nature and I have a new little FRIEND for you!” The boys told Coach on us so we had to sweep the lunch room!”
 
Conversation #2:
10-year-old Daughter: “Mom do you know what a French Kiss is?”
Mom: “Excuse me?!” (I was in total shock at this one!)
10-year-old Daughter: “Do you know what a French Kiss is?”
Mom: “No, what is it?” (In hopes that she would tell me a really great joke!)
10-year-old Daughter: “No, really, tell me what a French Kiss is!” (She was turning a light pink at this point.)
Mom: “It’s when two French people kiss.” (Now please go away!)
10-year-old Daughter: “MOM! Tell me what it really means! We were talking about this at school and I want to find out if what the other girls said was true.” (She is now a light red at this stage)
Mom: “It’s when two people kiss and their tongues touch.” (Did I just really tell my 10 year-old daughter that!)
10-year-old Daughter: “That’s what they said too. That’s just GROSS!” (Her face is now fire engine red!)
 
Conversation #3:
10-year-old Daughter: “Can my sister take me to see New Moon next Saturday?”
Mom: “It’s rated PG-13 so I might have to go with you if they require an adult to go with you.”
10-year-old Daughter: “My sister can be TRIED as an adult in court doesn’t that count?!”
That kid cracks me up!!!
 
 * Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty!