Question Of The Week

Question of the week: When you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Do you want a big service or just a small one?

In the past year I have been to way too many funerals for my liking. But it has made me step back and think about what I would like to have happen when my time comes.

My mother was very adamant about being cremated and having her ashes spread out by Block Island. I honored that wish, kinda, sorta. We had her cremated but we spread her ashes in New London. I figured she could swim the rest of the way. She would have been laughing right along with me!

My father planned his entire funeral himself. Mainly because none of his kids were talking to him! He had made plans to have his body flown to New Hampshire and he was buried next to his father. He picked out his own casket and headstone. He planned a graveside service and even had military honors planned out.

I have told my kids and husband that I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread by the beach. They can plan the rest. If they want a Mass or a big service for themselves then they can go for it!

Question Of The Week

Question of the day: At what age should you let children attend a non-family member funeral?

My youngest daughter goes to a private Catholic school. This past weekend the school secretary lost her husband. Her son also works at the school as our Coach and Health teacher. Being that we are a very small school, only about 300 kids for Pre-K through 8th grade, they will be letting the older kids attend to funeral mass. The older kids being from 4th – 8th graders, which means my daughter will be attending. I have no problem with her attending the mass but that is because she has already attended a funeral before.

What’s your opinion?

Final Farewells

This past weekend I attended the funeral for my brother-in-law. His funeral was very simple and nice. They had a viewing in the church and then had mass for him. It was all very serious. 

My 9 year old nephew, not his son, sat in the pew in front of me after he said his final goodbye and he was talking to my 9 year old daughter.  I overheard him tell her “Everyone keeps saying how nice he looks. He looks dead to me!” I had to leave the church for a minute because I was laughing so hard!

Then I started to think about other funerals I have attended over the years. This funeral sticks out in my mind the most:

 My aunt, who was my mother’s sister, passed away when I was in my early 20’s. She was the oldest of 8 kids and she was the first to pass away in our family. During the visitation I turned around to see one of my cousins, who is the same age as me, wearing these eyeglasses with the springy eyeballs. There were 6 of us cousins who just lost it laughing and we all went out into the front of the funeral home. We were sitting there on the couches when one of my older cousins starts tossing one of the urns that were on display. So there we were playing toss with the urn when one of my aunts came out and told us how inappropriate we were being. I then told her “Well if she wasn’t dead she would be the one out here leading us!” 

At this same funeral when we went to the cemetery my mother was paying her last respects at the casket and her heel got stuck in the ground. She bent down to get her shoe unstuck and fell into the hole! We all started laughing and the priest helped her up and told her “This is not a two for one deal!”

After the funeral we all went back to one of my aunt’s house and had a huge party with music and a keg.

Personally I hope I have a funeral like my aunt’s!