Who Parked the Snake In the Garage!

I hate, despise, loathe, detest, abhor and just generally dislike snakes! I don’t discriminate either, I hate them all. Even worms freak me out!

Yesterday morning I thought I would be nice to the little birdies outside and finally refill the bird feeder. I walked into the garage and walked around my car to get to the bird seed and I froze! There it was, a huge green snake! My neighbors could probably hear my shriek of horror inside their homes and they were probably laughing their butts off at the cute little snake dance I performed.

I ran into the house and shouted the words my husband loves to hear SNAKE! He calmly asked ” Where is it?” and I hysterically answered ” In the freakin garage by my car!” He put his sneakers on, grabbed the shovel and killed the blasted thing and then threw it behind the fence.

According to my husband it was a water snake that probably came from the canal that is behind our house. I really don’t care what kind of snake it was, I’m just glad it is a dead snake now! As for the little birdies flying around outside they are not getting fed unless one of the kids feed them!

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Mother’s Day…The Day After!

First of all let me tell you I really enjoyed Mother’s Day this year. I spent the day with my 2 kids and they did not fight with each other all day! To top things off, my husband cooked dinner for me and did the dishes. What more could I ask for?

I should have asked for it to last longer! Today is the Day After Mother’s Day and this is how the real world works! I woke up this morning and went out to the kitchen to get my morning cup of coffee. But guess what, there was no coffee in the pot! I usually set the coffee up when I clean up the kitchen after dinner. Well, last night I didn’t clean up, so you guessed it NO COFFEE! OK, I made the coffee, actually took a few sips, and went upstairs to wake the girls up for school. So far so good, they were both moving fairly well for a Monday.

Then we get to the bathroom! The 8 year old starts bitching complaining that her sister has stuff on her side of the sink. Seriously, I think the 15 year old’s comb was a half-inch over the imaginary line down the bathroom! I tell the 8 year old to suck it up to be the bigger one and ignore it. Of course I should know that is not going to work and the fighting starts in! I threaten to go get the duct tape if they don’t both shut up!

Next, I go back down to the kitchen to get breakfast going for the kids and this time, since I am awake now, I see a complete disaster where my nice clean kitchen used to be! I had a pile of pots sitting in my sink! I asked my husband about the pots and he said he didn’t know what to do with them. Try washing them! I wanted to scream but I didn’t. Then the smell hit me. You see for dinner my loving husband steamed some King Crab legs for me. Yep, you guessed it he put the shells in the kitchen trash can! See, I usually make the 15 year old take the trash out after dinner, but then again I did not have a hand in dinner last night.

So far on this, the Day After Mother’s Day, I have awoken to no coffee, broke up World War III, and cleaned up my disaster area of a kitchen. Next year I am banning Mother’s Day from being celebrated at my house! 🙄

The Working Man’s Holiday

It seems like every time a holiday passes my husband always asks the question, “When is it the poor working man’s holiday?” After several years of pondering this question I believe I finally have an answer:

 April 15th is the Working Man’s Holiday!!