Reinventing Myself…

Sorry I have not been holding up my little corner of the blogging world so well lately. It seems something has to give every now and then and this poor little blog has been the neglected one! For those of you who still check in on me, thanks. I try to check in on everyone even though I may not comment!

So why have I been lacking in my blogging you ask? Well I have been trying to reinvent myself. Maybe this is my mid-life crisis, seeing that I will be 40 in just a few months it sounds like a good enough excuse to me!

I have been doing a ton of thinking and talking to other people and I finally came to the conclusion that I have been trying to change the wrong person in my house. I have been trying to change my husband when in reality he will never change unless he wants to. I am the one who has to change!

I am tired of being the victim. I am tired of having the poor me attitude. I am just plain tired!

I am not, at least not at this point, ready to call it quits on my marriage. We have a lot of good things going for us and I believe the vows I took said, “For better and for worse, in sickness and in health.” Well this is the worse and my husband has a sickness called Alcoholism.

With that being said, I can and have made some changes around my house that have made it easier on myself and my kids. I have told my husband until he decides to get treatment for his illness he basically has no decision or responsibilities in certain things with the kids. For example he has no say in the discipline because he has no control in his judgement. He is not allowed to pick the kids up or to drive them anywhere because we can’t trust him to be sober. After this past weekend if he wants to join us in a family outing he must do so without any alcohol. I have been sleeping in a separate room than my husband for the past 2 months and I have been sleeping great! I even managed to get enough nerve up to open my own bank account! Granted I am not putting much in there but it is mine!  I have basically become a single parent who shares a roof with some other person.

It might sound bad but it actually has been going pretty good! The kids have a better attitude and so do I. We actually have laughter back in our house! I actually have a backbone! I am actually proud of myself as a mother and as a person in general!

So here’s to reinventing myself or just trying to survive my mid-life crisis!

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Busy, Busy, Busy

Wow! I have been so busy here lately! Let’s see if I can remember what the heck I have been up to!

On September 11 I took my daughters and my youngest daughter’s friend to go see the Jonas Brothers in concert. I was very impressed with their concert. I think I was up on my feet as much as the girls were! I do finally have my hearing back from all the girls screaming!

My oldest daughter is doing an internship at a Vet’s office for her veterinary class in high school. She is loving it but it is really messing up my schedule! She works Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday from 4-6. This means I get home from picking my youngest daughter up at school at 3:30, pick up my oldest daughter to take to the Vet’s office, get home at 4:15 in time to check youngest daughter’s homework and help her if needed, then at 5:30 I am off to pick up the oldest daughter from the Vet’s office. Then when we get home it’s time to cook dinner, eat, clean up the kitchen and then fall onto the couch! I believe I am going to have to break down and let the oldest daughter get her driver’s license even though she does not have a paying job! My sanity might depend on it!

My youngest daughter has finally decided that she wants to do Girl Scouts. Every year I ask her and she always says no. This year she finally said yes and I am so excited! I was a Girl Scout and I have always wanted to give back what I took from it. So I have signed up to help as well and I even managed to con my oldest to sign up as a volunteer. This will of course add even more to my plate but at least it’s something that I enjoy.

My youngest daughter has also signed up to help the Kindergarten CCE class on Wednesday nights at our church. She needs service hours for school and this will pretty much get her all of her hours for the year. She is very excited about helping out the little kids!

Work is going great! I received a raise just after 6 months of being there and I am taking on more responsibilities. I love my job! Sorry, I am such a geek!

My home life is what it is. I am married to an alcoholic who does not want help. Period. End of story. I have finally figured out I can not change anybody but myself. So I am working on that big time! Since I have figured this out I have actually had a freaking blast in my life! I have taken the girls to the beach and laughed all day. I have taken the girls to concerts and just hanging out around the house has been a lot more fun. I have a ton more work to do on myself but life is getting a lot better!

This has become my favorite song in the past few weeks:

Sara Bareilles

King of Anything

A Little Bit Of Everything

This post is going to be about a little bit of everything going on right now. Now, where to start, where to start?

High School = High Money

My oldest daughter is a Senior at or local public high school. She started back to school on August 23rd. She is taking English, Math, Government, Forensics (Science), P.E., Choir, and her Veterinary Technician class. I do not have a problem with a few fees here and there but this year has been the worse I have ever seen. I feel like I am being nickeled and dimed to death! I totally understand the Vet Tech class is a special program and has special fees but something has to give here! This is what I have shelled out to our local high school so far:

  • $25 General Vet Tech Fee (includes FFA membership)
  • $23 Scrubs for Vet Tech
  • $20 P.E. Gym Clothes
  • $20 General Choir Fee
  • Total out of Pocket so far: $88
  • $65 CVA (Certified Vet. Asst.) Test Fee due Oct 1
  • $47 SAT Test for College due in Nov.
  • $48 ACT Test for College due in Nov.
  • Total Upcoming Fees: $160

Grand total for Fees: $248!!! This does not even count for regular school supplies and classroom supplies! Don’t even mention Homecoming, Senior Pictures, Senior Cap & Gown, Yearbook, or Prom to me right now!!!

Concerts

Every summer we try to go to at least one concert. Last year due to financial reasons we did not get to do this. This year I am making up for it! When we go to concerts we choose ones that are at an outdoor arena called the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. We bring a big blanket and sit in the Lawn Area. It’s a great experience!

 

 

This weekend I am going to see John Mayer in concert with Owl City as the opening act. This concert started out as just a mother/oldest daughter concert. Then a few weeks ago when I kicked oldest daughter out of the house I offered to take the lady she stayed with as well as her daughter to the concert for all of their trouble. Then my youngest daughter piped up and wanted to go as well! So now our mother/daughter adventure has turned into a bit of a party! I am looking forward to this concert so much!

The following weekend I am taking my daughters and my youngest daughter’s friend to go see the Jonas Brothers with Demi Lovato/Camp Rock in concert. I am actually looking forward to this concert as well. I am getting a total kick out of the excitement my youngest daughter and her friend have! I am dragging my oldest daughter along as payback for the hell she has put me through in the past few weeks!

More Work Changes

Yesterday the owner of the company I work for called me into her office and asked me if I would be willing to work 2 more days a week. She would like to train me on some of her work so that she can semi-retire. I jumped at the opportunity! This puts me at 5 days a week at about 30 hours. I will still get off work in time to pick up my youngest daughter from school which is awesome!

This also puts me at a comfort level with my home-life issues. I am now in a position to make it on my own if I have to. The weight this lifts off my shoulders is immense! I now have the power!!!!!

Update To Parenthood Sucks

The other night the mother of my oldest daughter’s friend called me. This is the lady with whom my oldest daughter has been staying with. She wanted to hear my side of the story.

I informed her that I kicked my daughter out because she would not follow my house rules and she knew the consequences of her actions if she failed to come home last Friday.

She said “Hmm.. so she didn’t flee an abusive household? She got kicked out?”

Apparently my daughter lied to this woman and she is quite pissed at my daughter as well as her own. We have since joined forces and are fast becoming friends.

I printed out all the e-mails that my daughter and I have been going back and forth with since Friday and I showed them to the mother. Total proof to my side. We talked about what we should do next and we put a plan in motion.

This morning I went over to where my daughter has been staying and we had a nice little talk with my daughter and her friend. We talked about how the real world works. You know graduate school, get a job and pay your own way. Once we got through with the economic lesson I turned to my daughter and gave her 3 option packages to choose from:

  1. Home ~ Come back to my home under major conditions. Follow MY house rules, go to school, find a job and pay 25% of your earnings to the household. The final condition to this option package is to start attending Al-Anon meetings at least once a week.
  2. Military ~ Quit school, get your GED and join a branch of the military.
  3. Tough Love ~ Don’t choose either of the above options and you are on your own. Kiss my ass and leave me alone!

My daughter asked the other mom if she could stay put and think over her options for a day. The other mom agreed to 1 day after that she needs to leave her house no matter what because guess what she has the same house rules that I have!!

We will see what option my oldest daughter chooses. It is now in her hands. I did also tell my oldest daughter that if I did not hear from her by this afternoon that I was going to let her little sister have her room (it’s bigger) and if she decided to come home after I made that switch she would have to move into the smaller room.

I was on such a roll I went home and told my husband about my talk with my daughter and I informed him that his butt needed to make some major changes as well! If he is sober he may join us for dinner if not stay away. I will be sleeping on the fold out couch until I can no longer smell alcohol seeping from his pores. He no longer has parental control over the kids. I make all decisions regarding the kids!

Anyone else want to mess with me today?!

Change Is Good

It’s that time of year again… Back to School Time! My youngest will be going into 6th grade. {Sigh} Junior High here we come! Her school had a bit of an uprising over the summer and this year we have basically all new teachers for 6th-8th grade. Personally I am looking forward to the new change. Some of the teachers have been there since my oldest went to school there and it wasn’t really a good thing.

My oldest daughter will be starting her Senior year this year. So now I have to start getting myself ready for her {again sigh} graduation. Right now she is having scheduling problems with her classes and I could jump in and fix them but I have decided since she is an adult I must let her fix them. I must also realise that if she doesn’t fix them it’s not my problem it’s hers! That sounds so good in writing now I just have to get my head and my heart to really believe it!

Another change I have made is my work schedule. Yes, it was great only working Monday and Tuesday from 8-5. But I have gone and changed it all up. I even did it without discussing it with my kids or my husband! I made a decision on my own to heck with everyone else! Boy did it feel awesome! OK so this is what I have gone and done, I will now work Monday, Tuesday and Friday from 8-2. It is the same amount of hours but this way I can be home in the afternoons with my kids.

Last year I had some major problems around my house when I went back to work. My husband had to pickup my youngest daughter from school and then he had to help both of the girls do homework. I would come home from work and there would be total chaos! My youngest daughter had concerns about her dad being sober when he picked her up from school. Well she doesn’t have to worry about that anymore. Then when it came time to do homework he would tell her to do it his way to hell with what the teachers wanted. Fights like that you take up with the teacher not the kids! Well now she doesn’t have to worry about that either!

Change is good, change is good….

David Bowie

Changes (2002)

Peeved, PMS, or Just Old & Cranky…

Or maybe it’s a deadly combination of all three!!!! It seems like lately I have a very short fuse and everybody around me has a damn match!

  • Toilet paper ~I swear I must be the only person in my house and at work who knows how to change the stupid toilet paper! If it’s empty change it! If it’s almost gone go get another roll and put it on the tank lid.
  • Trash Cans ~ If the kitchen trash can is full take it out! Remove the full bag, tie it up and place it in the outside can. Then get a new bag and place it in the kitchen can! Do not keep stuffing it down and hoping that nothing will fall out! Which brings me to my next bullet point…
  • Kitchen Floor ~ If you drop something on the floor PICK IT UP!! Do not ignore it and walk away and hope that it learns how to walk into the trash can! That broom in the pantry likes to be used and it also comes with a handy-dandy dust pan!
  • The Carpet ~ Just like the Kitchen floors..If you drop it, pick it up! Or better yet grab that machine called the vacuum cleaner that is kept in the hall closet!
  • Dishes ~ If they are clean they belong in the cabinets. If they are dirty they belong in the dishwasher!
  • Stuff ~ If you bring it downstairs from your room, make sure it goes back up to your room by the end of the day!

I apologise for my slight mental breakdown. I will now go pop 2 Midol and see you in the morning! Or wait do I need a Xanax? Or maybe I just need a good old-fashioned dose of Geritol!

Something Old, Something New

Let me start by telling you about our grill. Our grill is about 6 years old and is on its last leg. Seriously! It lost 1 original wheel about 2 years ago and we replaced it with an old training wheel. The inside is falling apart and when you eat the meat that’s cooked on it you have to be careful not to eat metal!

The other night my husband was going to grill some fresh venison back strap stuffed with cream cheese and jalapeno and wrapped in bacon. YUM! My mouth was watering just putting these babies together.

My husband went outside, lit the grill and then moved it closer to the backdoor where the light is so he could see better since it was dark. That’s when I hear a BANG followed by an “Oh Shit!”

I was smart and stayed inside. My husband came back inside after about 10 minutes. He mumbled something about a piece of shit and then took the plate of meat and went back outside.  My youngest daughter ventured outside and came back in with the empty plate for me to clean and just started laughing and said something about another wheel breaking and wood. I didn’t even ask!

My husband comes inside and tells me to hold off on cooking the side dishes just yet because he has to switch out the gas tank, which he hates doing! He gets that done and relights the grill. About 10 minutes later I hear another BANG! followed by an “Oh Shit!” He comes in and tells me he lost one of the venison wraps inside the grill because the grill grate broke. No big deal it was an extra anyway.

We finally ate dinner and my husband declares that we are “Getting a new Gawd Damn grill no matter what!” Ok, no problem, that will be our Christmas present for this year.

This is why we needed a new grill!

 

Yesterday my husband went out and bought a new grill and we put it together this morning. It took us probably an hour and a half to assemble it and nobody was hurt or asked for a divorce!

I am going to like cooking on this baby!

Me, Myself And I

Me, Myself and I… I swear my family thinks that phrase means there are 3 of me! I am also starting to think that my kitchen has a giant magnetic force to it when I enter!

It never fails, the minute I walk into the kitchen my husband and both of my daughters seem to follow me within seconds! Then they all want to start talking to me. All three of them at the same time! Then they each complain that I am not listening to them!

Last night I finally lost it! I went into the kitchen to start dinner when the magnetic force pulled them into the kitchen with me. My husband started telling me about another dumb ass thing Obama did, my oldest daughter started in about having her phone privileges taken away and my youngest daughter was asking me about her birthday party plans for next week. All of them at the same time! 

I stood there in the middle of my kitchen and yelled, “Shut up” at the top of my lungs! I told them from now on if I was in the kitchen they were only allowed in one at a time! I also told them from now on I only speak to one person at a time! If I am not looking directly at you then do not speak to me!

All three of them left the kitchen rather swiftly. My husband had the nerve to tell my girls that I was just PMSing. I quickly responded, “I am sure that a PMS defense will stand up at your murder trial!”

I seriously need this sign!

Question Of The Week

Question of the week: Do you say “I love you” to your family?

 

I say “I Love You” all the time to everyone in my family. Whenever someone in my family goes somewhere or if I am ending a phone call they always get an “I Love Ya” from me. I have done this ever since I was I kid, I guess it is how I was raised. My kids, no matter how old they are, get an “I Love Ya” every time I drop them off at school and to be honest I think they like it when I do.

What brought this to my attention was the other day my husband was talking to his mom on the phone and he said goodbye to her and then hung up. I don’t think I have ever heard his side of the family say “I Love You” to each other. He has no problem saying it to me or our kids but I have never heard him say it to his parents or sisters.

I know for a fact that the last thing I told my mom when she passed away was “I Love Ya” and I feel better for knowing that.

Question Of The Week

Question of the week: What do you get your spouse/significant other for Valentine’s Day?

 

My husband and I are not big into celebrating Valentine’s Day. I usually get him a card and a box of chocolates and he usually buys me a card and a dozen red roses. He also buys an arrangement of flowers for both of our daughters. I buy them a box of chocolates that come with a stuffed animal.

Follow That Van!

Due to Hurricane Ike we have been without satellite tv for two weeks now. The kids and I have come to terms with it and we have been hitting our local library to checkout tons of movies. My husband on the other hand has not quite comes to terms with it yet.

Friday afternoon he called me to let me know that the satellite company would be out this coming up Friday. I thought this was great information because we had not heard from the satellite company since we called two weeks ago. This was the conversation I had with my husband:

Me – “Great the satellite company finally called you!”
Hubby – “No they did not.”
Me – “Well at least you finally got a hold of someone on the phone.”
Hubby – “No I didn’t.”
Me – “Well how the hell do you know they will be out next Friday then?”
Hubby – “I followed one of their repair trucks.”

Yeah you read that right! My husband followed a repair truck for 30 minutes until the truck pulled into a driveway. This poor satellite repairmen must have thought my husband was crazy! Actually I am starting to wonder if he is crazy! The repairman was nice enough to call the main company and finally got us on a list to be repaired!

Just when I was starting to enjoy life without Hannah Montana!

Anniversary, What Anniversary?

Yesterday, I woke up and did my normal routine. Drank my coffee, exercised, ate breakfast, showered and then checked my e-mail. Normal day, everyone said good morning and went about their business as usual. No big deal, just another day.

Wrong!!! My husband comes over to my computer and puts a greeting card on the desk. Then he says, “You forgot today is our anniversary, didn’t you? Remember our church wedding?” My reply was “Of course I didn’t. I was going to pick up a card at lunch time and say something then.” Luckily he fell for that!

I don’t know why but I always forget our church wedding anniversary. I remember our civil wedding date, no problem. I felt like such a heel! It is usually the husband who forgets things like this not the wife!! The sad part is we have a needlepoint picture that my friend made in our bedroom which has the date on it and I dust it every week!

Man vs Machine

Husband: “That sounds funny! Do you want me to look at it?”

Me: “No, that’s the way it sounds. It is fine!”

Husband: Walking away with his head down “OK”

What brought this conversation about was my weekly vacuuming. It all started about a month ago when I got tired of my old vacuum getting too hot and turning off. It was taking me an hour and a half to vacuum my house. I had enough of the blasted thing! I announced to my husband that I was going to buy a new vacuum. He said that was fine and we could go look for one in a week or so.

I did my research and looked around for the best price once I made up my mind which vacuum I wanted. Then I finally did it, I went and bought a new machine for myself. This thing is awesome! I can vacuum my entire house in 30 minutes and only have to plug it in twice, once upstairs and once downstairs.

The problem is I went and bought a machine on my own. You see, as I have found out, that men like to be the ones to buy things with motors in them. It doesn’t matter how big or small the machine is, or for what purposed it will be used. Man must buy machine!

I only hope my husband will get over this soon. There is nothing worse than a man pouting around!

Why?

Here are a few things that just make me go WHY?

  • Why is it when I stay at home alone with the kids it is called being a mom and when my husband stays home alone with the kids it is called baby-sitting?
  • Why is it when a woman no longer has a paying job she becomes a housewife or a stay at home mom and when a man no longer has a paying job he becomes unemployed?
  • Why is it the kids never get hurt unless Mom goes into the bathroom?
  • Why is it that when your child asks a question and you tell him No, he asks you the same question over again?