Here I Go Again

I have been free of a High School kid for two years now. It was very nice while it lasted. I was very thankful for the break. But here I go again!

There is something about kids once they hit that 1st year of High School. They tend to disappear into their rooms only to come out to use the kitchen, the restroom or when they need money. My youngest daughter doesn’t even bother to come downstairs to ask me questions anymore. Now she just texts me. Earlier this week she asked if she could hang out with some friends and when I asked who this is what I got:

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Here I go for round 2 of the teenage years! Lord please help me!

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Teens, Ya Gotta Love ‘Em

This evening my oldest daughter and I had the pleasure of chaperoning my youngest daughter and 2 of her friends while they went to a local amusement place. This place has an arcade, bowling, laser tag and an indoor glow in the dark golf course. They hung around all night and only came to see me when they were hungry.

I was also the taxi cab driver for the night. I find it hilarious that 13 year old girls think that the people in the front of the car can’t hear their conversations. These girls cracked me up the entire car ride!

Girl #1 – “I can’t do 4 ways anymore. I’m only allowed to do 3 ways now.” (she was talking about phone calls.)
Girl #2 – “Did you see the size of his meatballs?” (she was talking about a boy’s meatball sandwich)

At this point my oldest daughter and I are trying not to crack up. I failed and busted out laughing! Then the girls all screamed, “Oh my God, Mrs. JAM!”
After that they started talking about school and one of the girls said to my youngest daughter “Remember that day in History class when you taught us that poem?”
Then in unison they all chanted:
In 1492
Columbus was a Jew
He sat on the grass
Which tickled his ass
In 1492

I was almost in tears laughing so hard! My youngest daughter said, “See what a great influence you are on us!” That’s the last time I teach her anything!

Field Trip

Today I went with my youngest daughter’s school on a field trip to the Texas Renaissance Festival. It was “school day” so everything was tamed down for the kids. Personally I think they should have had more shows for the kids to see. But, nonetheless the kids had a blast.

In my little group we had myself, another parent and a teacher watching 7 kids. The kids were 7th & 8th graders and they were very well-behaved.

In one of the stores my daughter and her friend bought matching clip on nose/lip rings. The teacher stepped away from the group to use the restroom and when she came back they ran up to her with rings on lips and announced, “Look! Mrs. JustAMom let us get our lips pierced while you were gone!” Thank goodness we have a very cool teacher who thinks my warped sense of humor is very funny!

The best part was the car ride home. I rode with the parent I was grouped with all day and we had 5 girls. As we were driving by a park where a man had committed suicide in his car the girls started talking about how he died. My little angel pipes up in the back of the minivan and announces, “I know how he did it! My mom told me how you can commit suicide with your car!” Then she goes onto explain the steps. The other parent looks and me and just starts laughing.

I am not sure they are going to allow me to be a chaperone in the future!!

Just as a side note..When the guy committed suicide I did explain to my daughter how he used the exhaust fumes from the car to kill himself. I also explained how it was morally wrong to take any life including your own!

Parenthood Sucks!!

I think the minute the nurses hand you that beautiful little bundle of joy in the hospital and they see the love in your eyes that they should warn you that one day it will be sucked right away from you. The only difference will be that you don’t get nine months to prepare for it!

My oldest daughter turned 18 mid-July and she came to the conclusion that since she was 18 she could do whatever she wanted because she was a legal adult. She decided mid-week that she was going to leave and go out of town with some friends that I barely know. I told her no and she threw a fit. After she got done calling me every name in the book she said she was leaving and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. I informed her that if she left that would be it, she would need to find a different place to live. Her little sister even told her I was not playing around.

Needless to say she left and when I managed to get in contact with her she informed me that she would be back the day before school started and that I should leave her the F***k alone. SOOOO… with that she is now left alone. I took everything in her room and packed it up yesterday. I went out and rented a storage room and put all of her belongings in it.

She called this morning and point-blank said “I guess you kicked me out.” I informed her that indeed she was. She made an adult decision to leave and now she must face the consequences. She is staying with a friend of hers and as far as I know the mother of her friend will make her go to school. I told her today that if she needs school supplies or food I will help her with that but I will not give her any money. She needs to go find a job and figure out that in the real world you have to do things for yourself, it’s not all fun and games.

This afternoon she came over to the house to get her bed mattress and I gave her the key and the information that she needs to get her stuff out of storage this afternoon. She walked up to her room and I thought she was going to pass out when she saw everything gone. I think she really thought I was bluffing. She got in her friends car and started bawling. It killed me!

Every time I think about her I just want to tell her that it’s all ok and that she can come home anytime. Then I think about all the crap that she has been giving me and all the crap that her little sister has had to listen to and I know that I have to stick to my guns.

I might be totally wrong or this could be the best thing that ever happens to her. Either way it just plain sucks!

Never A Dull Moment!

I have been busy, busy, busy, for the past few weeks. It seems like every time I turn around we have something to do!

Softball

My youngest daughter has been playing softball this spring. Her team was made up mostly with what I call the “leftover” girls. The majority of them were young and a lot of them had never played softball before. We also had a first time coach.

The girls formed a great team and played their little hearts out. They ended up 3rd in the league but they really deserved 2nd. During the last game the other team did not have all of their players so they had 4 girls sub for them. I know for a fact that these 4 girls do not play in the 10 and under age group but they play in the 12 and under age group. The level just above our girls! We are appealing the last game but I don’t think it will do any good! 

I thought I was in for a season with a bunch of Upity Softball Moms but after a few weeks they surprised me. They turned out to be a great bunch of moms and we bonded over bad umpires! During the last game we were yelling so much at the umpires horrible calls that we were told to shut up or they would throw us out of the park!

The home plate ump made a bad call on our catcher who tagged a girl coming home and our catcher got so mad she started crying! Her dad got up and used the famous line: “Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There’s no crying! THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!” She stood up and looked at her dad and said, “Dad, this is softball!

Next year we move up in an age group along with 4 other girls that were on our team. Hopefully they can all get put on the same team!

School Stuff

The end of my girls school year is coming quickly. My youngest gets out next week and my oldest the week after that. We have been busy with all sorts of school programs and meetings about next year.

My oldest daughter will be a Senior in high school next year. I had to go to a meeting the other night about class pictures and volunteering my life away for the next year. One of the class projects they talked about was selling bottled water at this years graduation. They want every now junior to bring in a case of bottled water and put it in their class principals office. This principal will also be moving up with them next yea.

I received a phone call from this principal yesterday afternoon. The conversation went something like this:

Principal: “Hi there Mrs. So & So. You are the parent of (oldest daughter) right?
Me: “Yes I am? Is there a problem?”
Principal: “No, there is no problem as of right now. I understand that you were at our parent meeting the other night and you heard about our bottled water project. I have your daughter sitting here in my office because I overheard her sharing a great idea with some friends that her mom had for this little project.”
Me: At this point I am getting really nervous!
Principal: “Mrs. So & So, I don’t think the kids need any help finding a Senior Prank to pull off. I also think they should wait until they are actual Seniors to pull it off.”
Me: ” I am sorry I told my daughter what I did and I assure you that if anyone tries to pull it off I will come up to your office and clean it up. Is my daughter in trouble?”
Principal: “No, she is not in trouble and I will hold you to your offer!” (Now she is laughing) “I have to admit, it was a great prank idea!”
 

At the meeting when they were talking about bringing in the cases of bottled water I leaned over and said to my daughter: “Wouldn’t it be funny if you guys all put a little pin hole in some of the bottles so that they leaked all over her office!”

I had no idea this child would take this idea and try to run with it!! Her little sister would run with it like crazy but not my oldest daughter! I guess all these years she really was paying attention to me! Oh Crap!!

The Angry Mob

Our subdivision has a setup like this for mail:

It is common for people to post pictures of their lost pets and for companies to tape up fliers for their business on the sides of our mail boxes. I never really pay much attention to them to be honest.

Monday I went down the street to check my mail like I normally do in the afternoon. This time I did notice two signs that were up on the mailboxes. The handwriting looked oddly familiar. I then looked around the street and noticed 2 flyers up on the street light as well. It seems our little suburban cul-de-sac has been overtaken by THE ANGRY MOB!

Ah yes, I am the proud mother of the Mob Boss of the ANGRY MOB! Apparently Sunday, while I was watching football, my youngest daughter and her friends rallied together and made signs to put up around the neighborhood. I even gave them the tape to hang them up! I knew I should have asked what they needed tape for!