What A Bunch Of Sickies

Apparently in our community we have Type A Flu, Strep Throat, and the Stomach Flu going around. This is text from an actual e-mail that my youngest daughter’s school sent out this past Wednesday at 10:22 am: 

We have many students who are coming down with the Type A Flu.  Please be aware of your child’s health before sending them to school.  Many students are coming to school congested but having to leave with a high fever within an hour of school beginning.  They have then contaminated the whole class. If your child is ill and they have not had the flu shot,  be aware that they could be coming down with something that needs a doctor’s care.
We also have the stomach flu and Strep throat going around.
If your child is ill please keep them home.  If they are running a fever or throwing up keep them home until they are clear for 24 hours.   This will help all of us maintain a healthy environment.


You would think this would be common sense. It is to me at least! Oh don’t forget I send my youngest to private school! 

I guess the school figured out that there was not a lot of common sense even among our group because here is text from another e-mail I received on Wednesday, yes the same day, at 11:31 am: 

To help stop the spread of illness in the school we are shutting off the water fountains tomorrow.  Despite our continued warnings, the students still tend to put their mouth on the water-spout.
I am asking parents to bring in a case of water bottles per family.  The PreK and K classes will need the half pint bottles (or gallon jugs and we will provide the cups). 
Illness is spreading through our community, it is not just at our school. Please be mindful of this as you go shopping, out to eat or out in public.
Please contact the school office for any questions or other suggestions.


For the record they did shut off the drinking fountains and they also wrapped them with caution tape! I crack up every time I see them! 

Of course this is the same school that, in order to save a little money, made posters at the beginning of the year that said: 

Cough and Cover!

The kids had a blast with those signs!

Bad Friends

My oldest daughter decided to hang out with a few new friends this week. I keep telling her she needs to pick better friends but she just won’t listen! She has been hanging out with Mr. Sniffles, Mr. Droopy Eyes and Ms. Red Throat! They met her at school Monday morning and the nurse made me come pick them all up early so they wouldn’t disturb the other kids!

They hung out at my house all day yesterday. I made them stay in her room and quietly watch TV all day. They did come out once or twice to come down into the kitchen for food. They tried to come out in the afternoon so they could play with my youngest daughter but luckily she didn’t want any part of their so-called friendship. She quickly did her homework and took off to a real friends house across the street!

This morning my oldest daughter woke up and it looked like the party animals decided to leave. She did complain that she was really tired but I made her go to school anyway. I told her that’s what you get for hanging out with such bad friends!

Hopefully she has seen how bad her new friends are and they won’t be coming home with her again!

I Had The Suds

Last Friday my eyes were itchy, my nasal passages were swollen and sore and in general I felt like crap! I had the “Suds” as Sponge Bob Square Pants calls it. Everybody in the house knew I was not feeling up to par.

I managed to take a shower and that was about all I did all day.

I did have to go pick up my youngest daughter at school. I managed to get out of my comfy sweatpants and baggy shirt and put on some “I have to see people” clothes. I even got out of the car and walked up to the front door of the school. I even managed to muster up enough energy to talk to a few people.

Apparently this was just not good enough for my youngest daughter. We got into the car and she says: “I can’t believe you did that to me!” Just for grins I asked her just what did I do to her? She says: ” I can’t believe you didn’t put in your contacts! You wore your glasses, don’t you know how embarrassing that is?”

So much for “Are you feeling any better?”

I’m Late, I’m Late For A Very Important Date

I read two articles this morning about excuses people use for being late for work and for people who call in sick for work.

Here are 10 reasons that they listed that people actually used for being late:
1.  While rowing across the river to work, I got lost in the fog.
2.  Someone stole all my daffodils.
3.  I had to go audition for American Idol.
4.  My ex-husband stole my car so I couldn’t drive to work.
5.  My route to work was shut down by a presidential motorcade.
6.  I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.
7.  I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.
8.  The line was too long at Starbucks.
9.  I was trying to get my gun back from the police.
10.  I didn’t have money for gas because all of the pawnshops were closed.
And here are 10 reasons people used for calling in sick:
1. At her sister’s wedding, an employee chipped her tooth on a mint julep, bent over to spit it out, hit her head on a keg and was knocked unconscious.
2. While at a circus, a tiger urinated on the employee’s ear, causing an ear infection.
3. An employee’s dog wasn’t feeling well, so the employee tasted the dog’s food and then got sick.
4. “Someone put LSD in my salad.”
5. An employee’s roommate locked all his clothes in a shed for spite.
6. “Stuck on an island – canoe floated away.”
7. An employee was upset because his favorite “American Idol” contestant was voted off.
8.  “I didn’t think I had to come in if I had time in my vacation bank. I thought I could take it whenever I wanted.”
9. An employee said he wasn’t feeling well and wanted to rest up for the company’s holiday party that night.
10. A groundhog bit the employee’s car tire, causing it to go flat.

I used to work as a restaurant manager for many years so I have heard my share of reasons for people being late or just plain not coming into work. My favorite was a young man named Daniel who just happened to have a funeral to go to every Saturday and it was always down in Mexico. After about a month of his crap I finally told him the only way he would be excused for another funeral was if it was his own and I better be able to see his body at the viewing!

This article got me wondering, what is the worst excuse you have ever heard of or better yet used for calling in late or sick to work?