Mother Nature IS Out To Get Me!

I don’t know what I have done but for some reason Mother Nature is out to get me! This has been going on for several weeks now. I think it all started when I put up a bird feeder in the backyard. I just knew I shouldn’t have started feeding them!

I already wrote about one of my incidents with having a Snake in My Garage. Last week I go out to check the mail and of course I have to run back in and yell “SNAKE!” because there is a huge snake crossing my driveway. Again, last week at dinner my oldest daughter looks out our back door window and says very calmly, ” Dad, there’s a snake in the grass.” My husband goes out to kill the snake and for some reason now my kids like to touch these stupid, disgusting things! Dinner is over! YUCK!

The morning doves around my neighborhood must be on kamikaze missions. I have had several doves swoop down in front of my car. Well, yesterday I finally had a dove succeed on his mission and he ended up in the grill of my car! Quick, to the car wash!

Today, I actually wiped out on my bicycle all thanks to Mother Nature and her damn little cottontail bunnies. I was out on my morning bike ride on the trails that we have in our neighborhood. The trails go through these nicely wooded areas that is home to a large number of bunnies. Usually they are very cute and I laugh at them when I come up on them and scare the crap out of them. Well, today must have been payback for all of the times they have heard me laughing! I came up on one little cottontail bunny, but he did not hop off like all the others do when they see me. No, this fool decides to start running with me! So I keep going and then all of a sudden this, not so cute anymore, bunny runs in front of me! Yep, can you say WIPE OUT! I lost my balance and crashed. It’s a good thing nobody saw me because I must have looked hilarious! I sat there on the trail for a minute and laughed my ass off! Luckily I was not hurt, so I do not have to sue Mother Nature over this little incident.

Just to note, I think the bird feeder is coming down!

Who Parked the Snake In the Garage!

I hate, despise, loathe, detest, abhor and just generally dislike snakes! I don’t discriminate either, I hate them all. Even worms freak me out!

Yesterday morning I thought I would be nice to the little birdies outside and finally refill the bird feeder. I walked into the garage and walked around my car to get to the bird seed and I froze! There it was, a huge green snake! My neighbors could probably hear my shriek of horror inside their homes and they were probably laughing their butts off at the cute little snake dance I performed.

I ran into the house and shouted the words my husband loves to hear SNAKE! He calmly asked ” Where is it?” and I hysterically answered ” In the freakin garage by my car!” He put his sneakers on, grabbed the shovel and killed the blasted thing and then threw it behind the fence.

According to my husband it was a water snake that probably came from the canal that is behind our house. I really don’t care what kind of snake it was, I’m just glad it is a dead snake now! As for the little birdies flying around outside they are not getting fed unless one of the kids feed them!