All posts tagged teens

Here I Go Again

I have been free of a High School kid for two years now. It was very nice while it lasted. I was very thankful for the break. But here I go again!

There is something about kids once they hit that 1st year of High School. They tend to disappear into their rooms only to come out to use the kitchen, the restroom or when they need money. My youngest daughter doesn’t even bother to come downstairs to ask me questions anymore. Now she just texts me. Earlier this week she asked if she could hang out with some friends and when I asked who this is what I got:

1236590_10202178175722370_502335639_n

Here I go for round 2 of the teenage years! Lord please help me!

2 Comments
by Heather on September 7, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on September 7, 2013

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2013/09/07/here-i-go-again/

Teens, Ya Gotta Love ‘Em

This evening my oldest daughter and I had the pleasure of chaperoning my youngest daughter and 2 of her friends while they went to a local amusement place. This place has an arcade, bowling, laser tag and an indoor glow in the dark golf course. They hung around all night and only came to see me when they were hungry.

I was also the taxi cab driver for the night. I find it hilarious that 13 year old girls think that the people in the front of the car can’t hear their conversations. These girls cracked me up the entire car ride!

Girl #1 – “I can’t do 4 ways anymore. I’m only allowed to do 3 ways now.” (she was talking about phone calls.)
Girl #2 – “Did you see the size of his meatballs?” (she was talking about a boy’s meatball sandwich)

At this point my oldest daughter and I are trying not to crack up. I failed and busted out laughing! Then the girls all screamed, “Oh my God, Mrs. JAM!”
After that they started talking about school and one of the girls said to my youngest daughter “Remember that day in History class when you taught us that poem?”
Then in unison they all chanted:
In 1492
Columbus was a Jew
He sat on the grass
Which tickled his ass
In 1492

I was almost in tears laughing so hard! My youngest daughter said, “See what a great influence you are on us!” That’s the last time I teach her anything!

4 Comments
by Heather on August 12, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , ,

Posted by Heather on August 12, 2012

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2012/08/12/teens-ya-gotta-love-em/

Busy, Busy, Busy

Wow! I have been so busy here lately! Let’s see if I can remember what the heck I have been up to!

On September 11 I took my daughters and my youngest daughter’s friend to go see the Jonas Brothers in concert. I was very impressed with their concert. I think I was up on my feet as much as the girls were! I do finally have my hearing back from all the girls screaming!

My oldest daughter is doing an internship at a Vet’s office for her veterinary class in high school. She is loving it but it is really messing up my schedule! She works Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday from 4-6. This means I get home from picking my youngest daughter up at school at 3:30, pick up my oldest daughter to take to the Vet’s office, get home at 4:15 in time to check youngest daughter’s homework and help her if needed, then at 5:30 I am off to pick up the oldest daughter from the Vet’s office. Then when we get home it’s time to cook dinner, eat, clean up the kitchen and then fall onto the couch! I believe I am going to have to break down and let the oldest daughter get her driver’s license even though she does not have a paying job! My sanity might depend on it!

My youngest daughter has finally decided that she wants to do Girl Scouts. Every year I ask her and she always says no. This year she finally said yes and I am so excited! I was a Girl Scout and I have always wanted to give back what I took from it. So I have signed up to help as well and I even managed to con my oldest to sign up as a volunteer. This will of course add even more to my plate but at least it’s something that I enjoy.

My youngest daughter has also signed up to help the Kindergarten CCE class on Wednesday nights at our church. She needs service hours for school and this will pretty much get her all of her hours for the year. She is very excited about helping out the little kids!

Work is going great! I received a raise just after 6 months of being there and I am taking on more responsibilities. I love my job! Sorry, I am such a geek!

My home life is what it is. I am married to an alcoholic who does not want help. Period. End of story. I have finally figured out I can not change anybody but myself. So I am working on that big time! Since I have figured this out I have actually had a freaking blast in my life! I have taken the girls to the beach and laughed all day. I have taken the girls to concerts and just hanging out around the house has been a lot more fun. I have a ton more work to do on myself but life is getting a lot better!

This has become my favorite song in the past few weeks:

Sara Bareilles

King of Anything

2 Comments
by Heather on September 29, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on September 29, 2010

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/busy-busy-busy-2/

Update To Parenthood Sucks

The other night the mother of my oldest daughter’s friend called me. This is the lady with whom my oldest daughter has been staying with. She wanted to hear my side of the story.

I informed her that I kicked my daughter out because she would not follow my house rules and she knew the consequences of her actions if she failed to come home last Friday.

She said “Hmm.. so she didn’t flee an abusive household? She got kicked out?”

Apparently my daughter lied to this woman and she is quite pissed at my daughter as well as her own. We have since joined forces and are fast becoming friends.

I printed out all the e-mails that my daughter and I have been going back and forth with since Friday and I showed them to the mother. Total proof to my side. We talked about what we should do next and we put a plan in motion.

This morning I went over to where my daughter has been staying and we had a nice little talk with my daughter and her friend. We talked about how the real world works. You know graduate school, get a job and pay your own way. Once we got through with the economic lesson I turned to my daughter and gave her 3 option packages to choose from:

  1. Home ~ Come back to my home under major conditions. Follow MY house rules, go to school, find a job and pay 25% of your earnings to the household. The final condition to this option package is to start attending Al-Anon meetings at least once a week.
  2. Military ~ Quit school, get your GED and join a branch of the military.
  3. Tough Love ~ Don’t choose either of the above options and you are on your own. Kiss my ass and leave me alone!

My daughter asked the other mom if she could stay put and think over her options for a day. The other mom agreed to 1 day after that she needs to leave her house no matter what because guess what she has the same house rules that I have!!

We will see what option my oldest daughter chooses. It is now in her hands. I did also tell my oldest daughter that if I did not hear from her by this afternoon that I was going to let her little sister have her room (it’s bigger) and if she decided to come home after I made that switch she would have to move into the smaller room.

I was on such a roll I went home and told my husband about my talk with my daughter and I informed him that his butt needed to make some major changes as well! If he is sober he may join us for dinner if not stay away. I will be sleeping on the fold out couch until I can no longer smell alcohol seeping from his pores. He no longer has parental control over the kids. I make all decisions regarding the kids!

Anyone else want to mess with me today?!

3 Comments
by Heather on August 18, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , ,

Posted by Heather on August 18, 2010

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2010/08/18/update-to-parenthood-sucks/

I Have Rights!!

Last week my oldest daughter turned 18. She is finally an adult, at least in age. This fall she will be a Senior in High School and hopefully she will go on to college after that. I have told her I will not pay for driver’s education until she gets a job and all summer she has dragged her butt on that front! Needless to say she has no driver’s license yet!

Since she has turned the magic number 18 she thinks she can do whatever, with whomever and whenever she wants. When I tell her I don’t want certain friends over she throws a hissy fit. When I tell her I’m not driving her somewhere she throws a hissy fit. I swear she turned back time and is going through the Terrible 2’s again!! 

When she throws her little hissy fits she claims “I’m 18! I can move out if I want! I have rights now!” I usually just laugh and walk away.

The other day she caught me on a bad day when she pulled that crap. I told her “You are right. You have rights now. But I also have rights now! I have the right to charge you rent. I have the right to charge you for food. I have the right to charge you for gas. I have the right to charge you part of the phone, cable and internet bills!”

She has not said much to me since then. I think she got the message loud and clear. Either that or she is silently plotting my demise!

3 Comments
by Heather on July 23, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , ,

Posted by Heather on July 23, 2010

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/i-have-rights/

Never A Dull Moment!

I have been busy, busy, busy, for the past few weeks. It seems like every time I turn around we have something to do!

Softball

My youngest daughter has been playing softball this spring. Her team was made up mostly with what I call the “leftover” girls. The majority of them were young and a lot of them had never played softball before. We also had a first time coach.

The girls formed a great team and played their little hearts out. They ended up 3rd in the league but they really deserved 2nd. During the last game the other team did not have all of their players so they had 4 girls sub for them. I know for a fact that these 4 girls do not play in the 10 and under age group but they play in the 12 and under age group. The level just above our girls! We are appealing the last game but I don’t think it will do any good! 

I thought I was in for a season with a bunch of Upity Softball Moms but after a few weeks they surprised me. They turned out to be a great bunch of moms and we bonded over bad umpires! During the last game we were yelling so much at the umpires horrible calls that we were told to shut up or they would throw us out of the park!

The home plate ump made a bad call on our catcher who tagged a girl coming home and our catcher got so mad she started crying! Her dad got up and used the famous line: “Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There’s no crying! THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!” She stood up and looked at her dad and said, “Dad, this is softball!”

Next year we move up in an age group along with 4 other girls that were on our team. Hopefully they can all get put on the same team!

School Stuff

The end of my girls school year is coming quickly. My youngest gets out next week and my oldest the week after that. We have been busy with all sorts of school programs and meetings about next year.

My oldest daughter will be a Senior in high school next year. I had to go to a meeting the other night about class pictures and volunteering my life away for the next year. One of the class projects they talked about was selling bottled water at this years graduation. They want every now junior to bring in a case of bottled water and put it in their class principals office. This principal will also be moving up with them next yea.

I received a phone call from this principal yesterday afternoon. The conversation went something like this:

Principal: “Hi there Mrs. So & So. You are the parent of (oldest daughter) right?
Me: “Yes I am? Is there a problem?”
Principal: “No, there is no problem as of right now. I understand that you were at our parent meeting the other night and you heard about our bottled water project. I have your daughter sitting here in my office because I overheard her sharing a great idea with some friends that her mom had for this little project.”
Me: At this point I am getting really nervous!
Principal: “Mrs. So & So, I don’t think the kids need any help finding a Senior Prank to pull off. I also think they should wait until they are actual Seniors to pull it off.”
Me: ” I am sorry I told my daughter what I did and I assure you that if anyone tries to pull it off I will come up to your office and clean it up. Is my daughter in trouble?”
Principal: “No, she is not in trouble and I will hold you to your offer!” (Now she is laughing) “I have to admit, it was a great prank idea!”
 

At the meeting when they were talking about bringing in the cases of bottled water I leaned over and said to my daughter: “Wouldn’t it be funny if you guys all put a little pin hole in some of the bottles so that they leaked all over her office!”

I had no idea this child would take this idea and try to run with it!! Her little sister would run with it like crazy but not my oldest daughter! I guess all these years she really was paying attention to me! Oh Crap!!

5 Comments
by Heather on May 20, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on May 20, 2010

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2010/05/20/never-a-dull-moment/

It Seems Like Only Yesterday

Where does the time fly? My oldest daughter, who is 17, is going to prom with her Senior boyfriend tomorrow night. I truly can’t believe she has grown up so fast!

It seems like only yesterday that she was still dependant on me for almost everything in her life. You know the major things in life like feeding, clothing, cleaning up after her, ordering her boyfriend’s boutonniere. Oh, wait, that was just yesterday!!

On the way to school yesterday I asked my daughter what color boutonniere she got for her boyfriend. The response I got was “What the Hell is a boutonniere?” From her response I quickly assumed that she had not ordered one at all. I told her what a boutonniere was and I told her I would order one for her but I needed to know what color rose she wanted. So, stupid me, I asked her what color his cummerbund was. “His what?” I told her I would take care of picking a color for his rose.

He will be getting a white rose boutonniere.

I sure as hell hope she knows what a condom is!

5 Comments
by Heather on April 16, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on April 16, 2010

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2010/04/16/it-seems-like-only-yesterday/

The Dating Game

My oldest daughter, who is 17, has had “boyfriends” before but they never go out on dates. At least not what I consider a real date. They usually just hang out around my house and watch television or hang out at the park or the mall.

Well last Wednesday my daughter came home from school all excited. I knew something was up because school is never exciting! She was asked out on a real date! They planned to go to the movies after school on that Friday. She was nice enough to double-check with me if she could go which I had no problem with. I really appreciated the fact that she asked me first.

The boy who asked her out on a date has his own car. It’s an old black Trans Am. I am a little jealous of his car! My daughter has gotten a ride home from school a couple of times with him so I felt alright with him driving her around.

The afternoon of the big date I went about my normal business and I didn’t really think much about my oldest daughter being out. I have raised her well and whatever choices she makes are hers to make and she knows I am here if she ever needs me. My husband on the other hand was having a bit of a fit and he kept worrying about her. I half expected him to be waiting for them on the door step when they got home.

My youngest daughter beat him to the door step! My oldest daughter and her date pulled up in front of our house and there was my little one sitting there waiting for them! The boy got out of his car and walked over to my oldest daughter and gave her a …hug!

I thought my oldest daughter was going to kill her little sister! If looks could kill my little one would definitely be 10 feet under!

14 Comments
by Heather on March 3, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on March 3, 2010

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2010/03/03/the-dating-game/

Random Babbling

I have way too many little things flying through my head right now so I thought I would just do a babbling post! Ok see, I said “flying through my head” and I instantly thought of The Flying Monkeys in the Wizard of Oz! 

  • Sunday was Valentine’s Day and my husband did good. He bought each of our daughters a single red rose and he bought me a dozen red tulips. Now for the bad part, apparently my youngest daughter and I don’t do well with tulips in the house. Our allergies are killing us! It started yesterday when they started to bloom and today we are just miserable! I hate to get rid of them but I don’t know how much more we can take!
  • Yesterday I started working and like any office there is drama! Apparently I am taking over for a lady who is being moved to the front desk and she is not happy about it either. Also it seems like for the most part the people who work for this company are pranksters. The first thing they did was ask if I was a coffee drinker. I of course said hook me up to the IV. Apparently there is the great “How Strong Should the Coffee Be” debate going on at this office between the guys and gals. Yesterday the guys made the coffee for the “newcomer” and let me tell you it was strong! They started laughing when I said I took my coffee black, but I drank it without a single complaint and I drank more than one cup. I will however have to tell them that I think I found a new chest hair this morning!
  • Last night we met my youngest daughter’s new softball coach. For the record I am not a “Softball Mom!” I go to practices and the games but I don’t color code my clothes to the teams uniform and I don’t do the Team Mom shirt with the Bling. That just ain’t me! When my daughter is at bat I tell her to picture her older sister or her dad’s head, whichever has pissed her off the most lately, coming at her. She is usually good for a base hit when I do that! Ok, back to our new coach, I have nicknamed her Little Miss Sunshine. She is one of those overly nice people. She talked about how we would root for the other team when they made a good play and how the umpire is always right and we should thank him for helping us. My youngest daughter got in the car after the meeting and she said “We are going to lose a lot of games!” I laughed and told her, “at least you guys will be Happy Losers!”
  • My oldest daughter is “Not talking” to me. I think I blinked at her by mistake yesterday when she mentioned getting back together with an ex-boyfriend. I don’t like the arrogant, self-centered, egotistical kid and I swear I didn’t say a single thing to my daughter about my opinion of him. I know better than to do that! Last night she said “I don’t care what you think of him, you are just going to have to put up with him!” I think that is when I blinked and it has been nice and quiet ever since! Ahhhh…

Run Dorothy! Run or the flying monkeys will get you! by wvdirtboy (ilikegooglebetter).

9 Comments
by Heather on February 16, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on February 16, 2010

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2010/02/16/random-babbling/

It’s Never To Early To Start Couponing

It is amazing the things I end up talking about with my oldest daughter. Actually, it should scare the hell out of me but for some reason it doesn’t.

My daughter has a friend who happens to be a boy. They are just friends, which according to my husband is not possible! You can’t be “just friends” with a member of the opposite sex. This kid is always at my house and I am always taking him places with us. I treat him just like I do my own kids, poor thing! 

Ok, back on track… this boy had a girl call him a few weeks ago and told him he was the father of her 8 month old daughter. To make a long story short he found out he is not the father but he had the crap scared out of him!

I had a serious Safe Sex talk with him and my oldest daughter as well. I strongly urged both of them to practice abstinence. Hey a mother can dream! Since my little talk, I keep making little comments like this, “Don’t be silly, protect your Willie” loud enough for him to hear when he calls my daughter.

This past Sunday when I was clipping out my coupons from the newspaper I found this coupon:

I asked my oldest daughter if she wanted me to clip it out for him. She couldn’t stop laughing! She called him immediately and told him about the coupon. While she was on the the phone with him I of course just had to make another one of my famous remarks for him to hear! I told him to “Clip it or Zip it!”

6 Comments
by Heather on February 9, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on February 9, 2010

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/its-never-to-early-to-start-couponing/

Advice She Will Never Forget!

My oldest daughter has a new boyfriend, wait I think she has a new boyfriend, they come and go so fast it’s hard to keep up! Well anyway, last week my daughter and I were in the car alone together and she asked me if her boyfriend could come over that afternoon. This is the conversation that followed:

Me: “No, not today, it’s family day. I told you yesterday to make sure his coming over for only an hour was worth it.”
Daughter #1: “But, I wasn’t thinking about that. I was only thinking that I wanted to see him then no matter what.”
Me: “That’s why I asked you more than once if you were sure it was worth only seeing him for an hour!”
 
There was a brief silence in the car.
 
Daughter #1: “So…Can he come over this afternoon?”
Me: “Um..NO! Life is like a Chocolate Bunny.”
Daughter #1 (laughing): “What the Hell?!”
Me: “Shut up and listen! Right now you are in a new relationship and all you can think about is what you want right now, this instant! You are not thinking about the next day or the next week. It’s just like when you get a Chocolate Bunny at Easter. It starts out with I’m just going to eat the Bunny ears. The next thing you know you are down to the feet and you are now sick to your stomach. All you could think about was how good those little Bunny ears tasted and you didn’t think about anything else! See Life is like a Chocolate Bunny… please make sure you are careful where you bite!”
Daughter #1 (laughing so hard she has tears rolling down her face): “Only MY MOM would tell me something like that!”

6 Comments
by Heather on December 17, 2009  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on December 17, 2009

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2009/12/17/advice-she-will-never-forget/

And It Trickles Down…

The other night my 17 year old daughter and I were playing a card game in the living room and half listening to the nightly news on the TV. They had a story on about President Obama’s education plan. They basically were talking about giving schools government funding based on merit.

Here in Texas we have the Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills or TEKS test that the kids have to take at certain grade levels. If they don’t pass it they don’t graduate. Since they have started this testing many years ago that is all they teach. They teach the kids how to pass this test instead of giving them the education they need to pass it. The schools are given money based on the scores the students receive.

My daughter asked me what Obama’s education plan meant for her and I told her for her it would mean more of the same. They were going to put more pressure on the student’s to pass these standardized tests instead of actually teaching them.

My 17 year old daughter’s response to this was, “How stupid is he? Now he is starting to piss off the younger generation! Not a smart move by him especially since I get to vote next time!”

She amazes me some times! Just when I think she never listens to me she comes up with something like this!

5 Comments
by Heather on July 28, 2009  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , ,

Posted by Heather on July 28, 2009

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2009/07/28/and-it-trickles-down/

Do You Know What Your Kid Is Watching?

Last Friday afternoon my oldest daughter, who is now 17, was laying on our couch watching MTV. Normally I have that channeled blocked on the living room TV because I do not want my younger daughter watching it but since she was gone I unblocked it. I decided to sit down and have a look see to what was going on with the old MTV channel.

My daughter was watching a show by the name of 16 and Pregnant. Honestly I was sickened by this show. I watched maybe 15 minutes and I made her turn the crap off. The episode I saw had a very pregnant 16 year old shopping with her mom for a prom dress. I am sorry, 16 + pregnant = NO PROM in my little world. What is wrong with some of these parents?

The only good thing I have to say about this show is that I was able to ask my daughter what her opinion on teen pregnancy was. I was glad to hear that she wants no part of it. At least she is smart enough to tell me what I want to hear! One of her friends already had a pregnancy scare this summer and from what I understand this friend was actually disappointed that she wasn’t pregnant!

Do you know what your kid is watching? Man, we have sure come along way from the good old days of Barney and Sesame Street!

10 Comments
by Heather on July 20, 2009  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on July 20, 2009

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/do-you-know-what-your-kid-is-watching/

Question Of The Week

Question of the week: Who’s poster did you have hanging up in your school locker or your room when you were a teen?

school lockerA friend’s locker in 9th grade with C.Thomas Howell and Corey Hart posters.

When I was a teen I loved Duran Duran and C. Thomas Howell. My room was plastered in posters of them.

My oldest daughter has posters of Twilight all over her room. My youngest daughter has Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers on her walls. 

10 Comments
by Heather on July 8, 2009  •  Permalink
Posted in Just Wondering?
Tagged , , , ,

Posted by Heather on July 8, 2009

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/question-of-the-week-41/

Mother Vs. Teen Daughter

In school I learned all about conflict, you know, Man vs. Man, Man vs. Nature, Man vs. Society, Man vs. Himself. What I didn’t learn about in school was the most important conflict of all: Mother vs. Teen Daughter!

My oldest daughter and I have reached a point where we can walk into the same room and look at each other and just want to kill each other! I am not sure if it is a clash of raging hormones or just a stage in life that is normal.

Last week I was told:

  • “Your rules suck!”  My reply: “Well then don’t inhale!”
  • “When I have kids I am going to let them do whatever they want!” My reply: “Well don’t count on me baby sitting for ya!”
  • “I never have any money to do anything!” My reply: “I have just one little word for you JOB!”

The thing I hate the most that she does lately is when you tell her something she always has to say something back! Example: I say “Put the dishes away.” to which she replies “Why do you have to run the dishwasher every single day?!”

My new policy is: “Unless I ask you a question do not make a comment when I tell you something!”

13 Comments
by Heather on July 6, 2009  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on July 6, 2009

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2009/07/06/mother-vs-teen-daughter/

Where Do I Even Start?!

Dear Mrs. ~,

Hi, my name is Thomas and I’ve gone out wit ur daughter many times and when when we break up its because really what she has told me is that you dont really approve of me dating your daughter . I jus wanted to let u know that I love your daughter with all my heart and I care about her so much and I would do anything to be with her. She stole my heart the first time her and me met and I really want to be with her. She is the first person I have ever fell in love with. The first person to ever make me feel whole and without I’m a half im nothing without ur daughter and I want to be the one to make her happy and I love her so much and as much as I care about her is as much as I care about you approving of her and me being together. Well hope you have a wonderful and a great.

Thomas

The above is an actual e-mail I received from one of my oldest daughter’s ex-boyfriends. For the record, my daughter dated him twice and she wants nothing to do with him. I told her when I first met him that I did not really like him that much but I never told my daughter that she could not date him. She told the boy that I did not approve of him so that he would go away! I have trained her well!

I have not yet replied to Thomas,  quite frankly I don’t know where to start! I think this just might work:

Dear Thomas,

Thank you very much for your e-mail regarding your feelings for my daughter. I would really like to know who your English teacher is because I want to make sure my daughter never gets him or her.

I have talked to my daughter and she really does not want to go out with you again. Since you claim my daughter has stolen your heart I have asked her to return it immediately.

If you continue to bother my daughter I will have to hand matters over to her father. Mr. ~ is very busy doing his Spring Cleaning right now which mainly consists of cleaning his guns. I must forewarn you that Mr. ~ gets really upset when we interrupt his Spring Cleaning.

Sincerely,

Mrs. ~

9 Comments
by Heather on April 28, 2009  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on April 28, 2009

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/where-do-i-even-start/

Did You Hear The One About The Priest?

My oldest daughter has found a boy she is interested in dating. She has known this boy since the 4th grade, they went to the same Catholic elementary school. They lost touch with each other after 5th grade and they are now making their church confirmation together.

My daughter got off the phone with him the other night and she was laughing so hard she was close to pissing in her pants! I of course asked her what was so funny and she said:

“I just asked out a priest on a date!”

Apparently this boy, who is a junior in a Catholic high school, has decided to be a priest. He has visited a seminary and decided that that is his calling

I told my daughter that she should ask our priest if this is something worthy of confession!

This phone call will of course result in years of family teasing for my daughter!

3 Comments
by Heather on February 13, 2009  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on February 13, 2009

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2009/02/13/did-you-hear-the-one-about-the-priest/

Teens Trying To Make Plans

My 16 year old daughter has been driving me nuts all week! She keeps asking me if she can go to the movies which I have no problem with usually. My problem this week is she asks me 5 minutes after dinner! Sorry I am not going to drive you to the movies at 7 pm and then of course have to pick you up at 10 pm! I am old, my bedtime is around 9!

This morning I told her I would take her to the movies if she wanted. Now she doesn’t want to go because all her friends either have plans or are still sleeping! Whatever happened to the days of calling your friend, saying “Hey do you want to go to the movies tomorrow at noon?”, and then making it happen.

Am I just getting old or do kids today not understand the concept of making plans? And she wonders why my hair is getting grayer and grayer!

3 Comments
by Heather on December 30, 2008  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , ,

Posted by Heather on December 30, 2008

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2008/12/30/teens-trying-to-make-plans/

Oh, Crap…

After all these year I finally figured out why the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak was so mean: He must have had kids!

 

This was the conversation I had with my 16 year old daughter this morning on the way to school:

Daughter: “Oh crap!”
Me: “What do you mean by Oh crap!”  (nothing good ever comes after this phrase!)
Daughter: “I forgot to tell you that I need some stuff for our FFA meeting tonight.”
Me (in my ‘what the hell do you need now’ voice): “Just tell me what you need and I will see what I can do.”
Daughter: “I have to bring 10 pies and 3 spray cans of whipped cream.”
Me (in my ‘I am so going to kill you’ voice): “You need what!”
Daughter: “We are having a pie eating contest at the meeting and I am in charge of bringing some of them.”

I so wanted to kill her this morning! But, just like the good little mother that I am, I am in the process of baking 5 apple pies and 5 cherry pies. Thank god for Sara Lee! 

5 Comments
by Heather on November 11, 2008  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , ,

Posted by Heather on November 11, 2008

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/oh-crap/

I Just Don’t Understand!

We have the same routine pretty much every morning. I wake up at 5:15 chug down 6 cups of black coffee and make my way upstairs at 6 to make sure that both of my girls are alive and moving. I go back downstairs to make breakfast for them and pack their lunches.

My oldest daughter’s school starts at 7:20 and my youngest daughter’s school starts at 7:40. We leave the house at 6:40 to make the daily school run. I drop my oldest daughter off at 6:50 and then head over to my youngest daughter’s school. We get there about 7 and have to sit for 40 minutes. I don’t mind waiting as we study for spelling and multiplication or just have fun singing with the radio.

This was the conversation I had this morning with my adorable 16 year old:

  • Sweet 16: “Mom can we leave for school a little earlier this morning?”
  • Crabby old Mom: “No, we can’t leave much earlier than we we already do!”
  • Sweet 16: “But Mom, I have to stop by Mrs. So-and-So’s class this morning.”
  • Crabby old Mom: “You have plenty of time to do that. The first bell doesn’t ring until 7:10.”
  • Sweet 16: “But Mom, I have people I need to talk to in the morning.”
  • Crabby old Mom: “Well I guess your people will just have to find a way to get their morning started without you today.”
  • Sweet 16: “I wish you could swap places with me and see what I have to do every day! You just don’t understand!

I let her have the last word, because like my mom used to always say: “Last tag’s a dirty pig and I’m a little lady!”

Just to note: We left at our usual time of 6:40! 🙂

2 Comments
by Heather on October 30, 2008  •  Permalink
Posted in Life As I Know It
Tagged , , , , ,

Posted by Heather on October 30, 2008

https://purplecoloredglasses.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/i-just-dont-understand/

« Older Posts