I’m Late, I’m Late For A Very Important Date

I read two articles this morning about excuses people use for being late for work and for people who call in sick for work.

Here are 10 reasons that they listed that people actually used for being late:
1.  While rowing across the river to work, I got lost in the fog.
2.  Someone stole all my daffodils.
3.  I had to go audition for American Idol.
4.  My ex-husband stole my car so I couldn’t drive to work.
5.  My route to work was shut down by a presidential motorcade.
6.  I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.
7.  I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.
8.  The line was too long at Starbucks.
9.  I was trying to get my gun back from the police.
10.  I didn’t have money for gas because all of the pawnshops were closed.
And here are 10 reasons people used for calling in sick:
1. At her sister’s wedding, an employee chipped her tooth on a mint julep, bent over to spit it out, hit her head on a keg and was knocked unconscious.
2. While at a circus, a tiger urinated on the employee’s ear, causing an ear infection.
3. An employee’s dog wasn’t feeling well, so the employee tasted the dog’s food and then got sick.
4. “Someone put LSD in my salad.”
5. An employee’s roommate locked all his clothes in a shed for spite.
6. “Stuck on an island – canoe floated away.”
7. An employee was upset because his favorite “American Idol” contestant was voted off.
8.  “I didn’t think I had to come in if I had time in my vacation bank. I thought I could take it whenever I wanted.”
9. An employee said he wasn’t feeling well and wanted to rest up for the company’s holiday party that night.
10. A groundhog bit the employee’s car tire, causing it to go flat.

I used to work as a restaurant manager for many years so I have heard my share of reasons for people being late or just plain not coming into work. My favorite was a young man named Daniel who just happened to have a funeral to go to every Saturday and it was always down in Mexico. After about a month of his crap I finally told him the only way he would be excused for another funeral was if it was his own and I better be able to see his body at the viewing!

This article got me wondering, what is the worst excuse you have ever heard of or better yet used for calling in late or sick to work?

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  1. I have an employee like your Daniel. I really want to ask him how many more living relatives he has so that I will know how many more days he will be missing this year.

    Years back I told an employer that I was called in to testify on a murder trial. Not a very good lie because everyone wants to hear details on the case.

    Now days I just tell them that I am taking a sick day to stop myself from hurting any of my coworkers. They are ok with that reason.

  2. The last 25 years that I worked , seventeen of them were with my Dad. I would just call and tell him I didn’t feel like coming in and He would say “Oh, OK, get some rest.” The last 8 years I worked by myself and only took one day off. I worked 6 days a week. My son watched the store that day. I was really sick. I never had any employees. Before that when I was younger I worked in a bank and never took time off.

  3. betme – I love the excuse of “to stop myself from hurting any of my coworkers”

    Joan – You sound like me! I would have to be on my death bed in order to call in sick. I worked for the same company for 20 years and I think I only called in sick maybe 5 times! I have been staying at home taking care of the family for the past year and now I am trying to figure out how to take a sick day! 🙂


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