Update To Parenthood Sucks

The other night the mother of my oldest daughter’s friend called me. This is the lady with whom my oldest daughter has been staying with. She wanted to hear my side of the story.

I informed her that I kicked my daughter out because she would not follow my house rules and she knew the consequences of her actions if she failed to come home last Friday.

She said “Hmm.. so she didn’t flee an abusive household? She got kicked out?”

Apparently my daughter lied to this woman and she is quite pissed at my daughter as well as her own. We have since joined forces and are fast becoming friends.

I printed out all the e-mails that my daughter and I have been going back and forth with since Friday and I showed them to the mother. Total proof to my side. We talked about what we should do next and we put a plan in motion.

This morning I went over to where my daughter has been staying and we had a nice little talk with my daughter and her friend. We talked about how the real world works. You know graduate school, get a job and pay your own way. Once we got through with the economic lesson I turned to my daughter and gave her 3 option packages to choose from:

  1. Home ~ Come back to my home under major conditions. Follow MY house rules, go to school, find a job and pay 25% of your earnings to the household. The final condition to this option package is to start attending Al-Anon meetings at least once a week.
  2. Military ~ Quit school, get your GED and join a branch of the military.
  3. Tough Love ~ Don’t choose either of the above options and you are on your own. Kiss my ass and leave me alone!

My daughter asked the other mom if she could stay put and think over her options for a day. The other mom agreed to 1 day after that she needs to leave her house no matter what because guess what she has the same house rules that I have!!

We will see what option my oldest daughter chooses. It is now in her hands. I did also tell my oldest daughter that if I did not hear from her by this afternoon that I was going to let her little sister have her room (it’s bigger) and if she decided to come home after I made that switch she would have to move into the smaller room.

I was on such a roll I went home and told my husband about my talk with my daughter and I informed him that his butt needed to make some major changes as well! If he is sober he may join us for dinner if not stay away. I will be sleeping on the fold out couch until I can no longer smell alcohol seeping from his pores. He no longer has parental control over the kids. I make all decisions regarding the kids!

Anyone else want to mess with me today?!

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  1. Wow. I can’t believe you gave her another chance and she told you she needed to think about it. I sure hope she’s only being overly dramatic. My feelings would have been so hurt that I may have said something like this: *&^&^%%&$&*&*^ER%!@$@$%#%^# Not go think about that!

    Seriously, this is tough. This is one of the really horrible problems about having a summer birthday. Kids seem to feel they are adults when they hit that magic “18.” Nothing has changed and they have no idea what’s in store for them. Doesn’t your daughter have a job? Jason thought he could do as he pleased too. Coming and going at all hours and he thought being rude and disrespectful was being an adult. Hhhhmmm.

    When your daughter swore at you she was being very childish and immature. Now she needs to think about it??? I sure hope she decides on the side of parents because if and when she changes her mind, you may have a change of heart. It’s one thing to love our children but it’s another to let them continue to hurt you. Some of that hurt will stay in your heart forever. I’ll never forget some of the things my son said to me when I kindly told him he could leave our home. I did let him come back but those hurtful words are still in me. You can’t unsay things and undo things.

    As far as the husband. GOOD FOR YOU and NO, I won’t be starting ANYTHING with you today. I know better. You are a bad ass 🙂

  2. LOL Joy, I don’t think myself and bad ass go hand and hand! Maybe fat ass! 😉

    My oldest daughter does not have a job that has been our biggest problem this summer. GO GET A FRIGGIN JOB!! She does not even have a driver’s license because I said no job, no license.

    She did call yesterday afternoon and I will be going to help her move back in. I also informed her that she is basically on parole and she better lose any and all attitude toot sweet!

    You are also dead on with what you said about hurtful words. I told my oldest yesterday, “I will always love you but I do not have to like you!” Right now I don’t like her very much at all!

    • I am glad she’s coming home. You will get through this and believe it or not, she will love you again. Maybe not till she’s 30 but it will happen. Be tough. It’s easier to back off than toughen up. I seriously can’t believe she thought she could move out with no job or no drivers license. What’s with kids? Does she think living is free???


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